Tuesday, January 25, 2011

10 random things

Dear Readers,
10 random things:

1. Over at FOLFOH, we started our Face2Face Friendship Groups. I am super excited to announce that we already have over 75 groups starting up all over the country (and even a few outside the US!). You should check out the group directory to see if there is a group in your area. I want to give a HUGE shout-out (and thank you!) to Angie for all her awesome work coordinating this new project. Ang-you rock!

2. Hello to all my new followers! I am excited to add a bunch of new blogs to my reader.

3. Big apologies to all my old followers. I have become an absolutely horrible blog commenter as of late. Please know I continue to read every post and am still here walking beside you (even if it seems like I've fallen off the blogosphere planet!)

4. I have been really bad about updating our food blog, but I am happy to report there has been zero unnatural/processed food consumed in our house since January 1st. I feel amazing! My energy level is way up, I've lost the 5-10 pounds that were still clinging from my pregnancy, and I just feel...good about myself. I highly recommend giving this thing a try (or at least heading in that direction).

5. I made the ultimate "chick mix" and have been totally rocking out to late-90's Mariah Carey (think 'Honey' and 'Butterfly'), R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Lady Gaga, No Doubt, Lily Allen, Regina Spektor, old Whitney, Celine, Janet, and Cher, Shakira, and the rest of my ladies this week. I don't know when I picked up this desire to dance all the time, but I've been shaking my booty all over the place--in the car, in the shower, cleaning the kitchen. Putting together a girly mix you can move to is another thing I highly recommend. :)

6. For the first time in literally eight months, I am happy that I'm not pregnant. For real! This could all change tomorrow, but today, I'm just oddly okay with my life the way it is. Is that weird??

7. I need to start reading again. Anyone have any good book suggestions? I'm in the mood for a good love story. And PS. no Nicholas Sparks :)

8. I am thinking about doing another giveaway when I reach 400 (400?!) followers. I'm leaning towards having it be for a set of Zumba DVDs because I am just loving Zumba and I think you all would too!

9. This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time ('wait..what is this? I have to go to the bank? What am I, some sort of wizard?'). Can anyone else relate?

10. I still miss my little girl with all my heart. Even when I'm in one of those phases, like now, where the good days outnumber the bad, a part of me still feels not quite alive inside.


Monday, January 10, 2011

Light as a feather

Dear Stevie,
Two summers ago, Dad and I spent a week backpacking through the Beartooth Mountains in Montana. It was my first "real" camping experience, and while it was a ton of fun, it was also a lot of work. Every morning, we would get up, eat breakfast, pack up our stuff, and hike anywhere from 5-10 miles to the next campsite. 5-10 miles might not sound like that far to walk, but when you are carrying 40+ pounds on your shoulders while doing it (or closer to 90 if you're Dad!), it's quite the challenge.

There were times on that trip I honestly thought I was going to pass out and die. It was hot. There were bugs. My scalp itched from not washing my hair in days. We'd be going up-hill and I would just stop in the middle of the trail and refuse to go any further. "You're going to have to hike out by yourself and come back for me with a stretcher," I'd yell up to Dad. The heavy backpack was the worst. It made me feel so weighed down. So trapped. Each step a challenge.

This is my 'I'm attempting to look happy when I really want to die' smile

But every afternoon, somehow, we'd make it to camp. And when I finally got to unstrap my backpack and let the weight fall off my shoulders, that was one of the best feelings I've ever felt. Strangely...light. Walking felt about a thousand times easier, effortless. Like I was floating on air.

That is how I've felt since January 1st. Light as a feather.

The awful weight of the last eight months was starting to drag me down, almost to the point where I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get back up again. I was trying to make it up this huge hill with pound upon pound of sadness, disapointment, anger, jealously, and bitterness on my shoulders, weighing me down, and it just wasn't working. I felt like I was back in Montana, sitting on a rock, swatting horseflies away from my face, crying out that I just couldn't go any further.

No more. I've made a conscious effort to unload a lot of the dead weight I've been hauling around. I've decided to throw it off my back, and I've left it in back in 2010. This new year, this fresh start, it's like arriving at camp.

Since January 1st, I've been focusing on me. I've been eating incredibly healthy (I haven't eaten any processed foods or a can of soda in over a week!). I've been doing Zumba every day (it's this super fun, super intense booty-shaking latin dance workout I do on our Playstation3, see embarrassing pic below). I've been making more of an effort to get out of the house and do the things I love (like taking pictures and spending time with my friends). I've even been waking up early enough to actually blow-dry and straighten my hair.

The controller in the belt around my waist tells the Zumba game how much I've moving my hips ('Nice Hip-Action!'), pretty cool!

I feel so much lighter (and that's not just thanks to the four pounds I've lost since the new year, which wasn't the point of all this, but I'll gladly take!) I feel renewed. Refreshed. Ready to take on the world again.

My 'America's Next Top Model' pose, to show off my straightened hair :)

This is gonna be a good year, I can feel it. Bring it on, 2011, this time I'm not stopping mid-hike for anything.

I miss you, Baby, and love you even more.


Thursday, January 6, 2011

Beating Hearts

Dear Stevie,

I've been having trouble sleeping at night.

Foxy and Jackie (our Toy Poodles, pictured below) sleep in our bed with us every night. Usually Foxy prefers to sleep on my face, or right next to my face, on my pillow, and Jackie likes to cuddle up against my stomach under the covers. I know, I know, they are totally spoiled. But I don't care. I love having them in bed with us.

Anyway, back to my sleep troubles.

For the last month or so, pretty much every night, I wake up at around 3:00am in somewhat of a panic. I have this horrible feeling that something has happened to the dogs. I have to put my hands over each of their chests and feel their little hearts beating before I can fall back asleep. Sometimes I even shake them a bit, just enough so that they squirm a little and I can be absolutely certain they are alive.

How messed up is that? It's like I'm so afraid of the things I love dying on me that it's literally keeping me awake at night. 

Oh how I wish I could go back to my naivety. Back to the time in my life when beating hearts didn't just stop for no good reason. Back to before my little girls' did. Stop beating, that is. 

Nearly eight months out and I'm still reeling.

I miss you. 


Sunday, January 2, 2011

New Blog

Nope, it's not a new pregnancy blog (unfortunately, ha ha).

It's a foodie blog!

Operation Eat Less Crap

Andy and I have decided to go all-natural, all-organic in 2011, and as a way to hold ourselves accountable, we'll be blogging all about it. Andy does most (okay, all) of the actual cooking in our house, but I do enjoy eating and talking about good food, so I figure it will give me something new and fun to focus on for awhile.

We'll be sharing recipes, stories, and all that good bloggy stuff. I hope you'll come over and join us!


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