tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post104534062834208534..comments2024-02-06T04:06:10.089-06:00Comments on Dear Stevie...: Age: 0Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05292279414919447049noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-21744768754116240562010-08-11T15:25:20.388-05:002010-08-11T15:25:20.388-05:00Oh darling, Stevie understands. You're right -...Oh darling, Stevie understands. You're right -- or I should say, I feel as you do -- that Stevie is not in that box, the moment her eyes closed she was no longer in that body. She's carried in your hearts and that's all that matters. <3Kelly Jeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10162645900534955957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-62459529953999261342010-07-02T16:26:15.740-05:002010-07-02T16:26:15.740-05:00My good friend and coworker went through the very ...My good friend and coworker went through the very same thing you are going through. She lost her baby Emily Marie at 30 weeks due to two large blood clots in the umbilical cord. <br /><br />No one should ever have to go through what you went through. You are in my thoughts and prayers. You are so strong, your Stevie Joy is so very proud of you. <br /><br />YOU are an amazing mother. Never forget that.Cassiehttp://www.whosmydaddy.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-56317174558297631132010-06-29T00:53:49.811-05:002010-06-29T00:53:49.811-05:00You are not alone. My son's ashes, according t...You are not alone. My son's ashes, according to my husband, are in a box in the garage somewhere. I didn't even go get them. I had enough of the funeral home and the clearly uncomfortable but polite enough very pregnant receptionist or whatever at the place the first time we went.<br /><br />The ashes mean nothing to me. That isn't my son; neither did his body as they turned off the life support. He was already gone; that's why we turned off the machines. When I tried to touch him, I got incredibly grossed out, and almost threw up, right on the spot. How is that for your "last" contact with your beloved child.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13373156081536011519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-27148341973818031032010-06-28T20:14:36.924-05:002010-06-28T20:14:36.924-05:00I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby g...I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl. Wishing you all the best.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-23234799133759337192010-06-26T16:11:40.853-05:002010-06-26T16:11:40.853-05:00I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Many, many hug...I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Many, many hugs and prayers to you.<br /><br />ICLW<br />http://daega99-arewethereyet.blogspot.com/daega99https://www.blogger.com/profile/05925235183784718592noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-34299508675806298832010-06-26T12:06:27.507-05:002010-06-26T12:06:27.507-05:00I used to work at a mortuary (doing paperwork &...I used to work at a mortuary (doing paperwork & record keeping) and I can tell you six weeks is nothing. Don't feel bad at all about that. I used to see cremated remains (many times they were babies) that were waiting there for months, even years in a few cases. Many times, people would delay picking them up because it was the last "thing" they had to do for their loved one. And the family didn't want to be without "things" to do for the deceased.<br /><br />Not that I'm saying you felt that way! But I just wanted you to know you shouldn't feel bad about waiting to pick up that little box.<br /><br />I'm so sorry you don't have little Stevie with you right now. It's so unfair.Violet1122https://www.blogger.com/profile/05470143683967710014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-39006223681830647122010-06-26T11:28:10.713-05:002010-06-26T11:28:10.713-05:00Those Life Gems are awesome! If I had an extra $3,...Those Life Gems are awesome! If I had an extra $3,000, I'd order one in a second! :)Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05292279414919447049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-87354273035633231632010-06-26T11:23:44.778-05:002010-06-26T11:23:44.778-05:00<3 We all do this differently. No need to feel ...<3 We all do this differently. No need to feel bad about anything you feel, although its easier said than done. I never took Valentina out of her swaddling to see her hands and feet and body... I feel awful about that. I also feel awful that we only spent a couple of hours with her in the room and not the whole night etc.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-43320095154987322482010-06-26T11:18:16.063-05:002010-06-26T11:18:16.063-05:00Have you ever heard of Life Gem? In a way it is cr...Have you ever heard of Life Gem? In a way it is creepy but it is also kind of beautiful.<br />www.lifegem.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-29206689798734033502010-06-26T00:23:04.158-05:002010-06-26T00:23:04.158-05:00No offense taken at all. I always felt like I was ...No offense taken at all. I always felt like I was a little different from most deadbabymommas because I didn't hold her very long or keep her in the room with me. I just couldn't. I held her long enough to cuddle her to me, kiss her, tell her I loved her and goodbye. I just couldn't take anymore than that.<br /><br />Her ashes were a different story. My aunt called one who volunteered to do it for free. I was so grateful. When I went to pick up the ashes, they were in a Ziploc bag in one of those Glad containers. I started crying in front of the nice man who owned the funeral home. He told me to go and pick out any urn that I wanted. I picked one, and he put her in it. For several weeks, I carried her around in my purse, and I know that's morbid. Right now, she's in a mini curio cabinet hanging on my wall. I was going to scatter her ashes over my granny's grave, but I have decided I want to be buried with her when I die.<br /><br />Anyway (I can get long-winded), we all have reactions to certain things that differ. we aren't all the same and shouldn't feel bad or guilty for those feelings.Mrs. Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11548716422011525616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-12783982084959582712010-06-25T23:44:47.912-05:002010-06-25T23:44:47.912-05:00Kristin,
It took my mom over 40 years to bury my ...Kristin,<br /><br />It took my mom over 40 years to bury my older brother's ashes. I think she never knew what to do with his little box.<br /><br />One day it will come to you what feels right. Whether it takes a week or 40 years.<br /><br />Love to you.Kerrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11003225941685784269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-50024964831235897632010-06-25T20:35:24.987-05:002010-06-25T20:35:24.987-05:00Denise's ashes are that way to me...Her little...Denise's ashes are that way to me...Her little white box sits on a bookshelf in our office..and I have to wonder, if any of our friends or family have ever looked at that box and wondered what was in there...and what would I say, if someone were to pick up the box, and open it? "Yep, that's my daughter"..Sorta morbid, but we just haven't gotten the guts to go spread her ashes yet.Briehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17808884896862082312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-53795333946151456552010-06-25T20:15:28.685-05:002010-06-25T20:15:28.685-05:00No offense taken at all! Hard to offend in the bab...No offense taken at all! Hard to offend in the babyloss community. I think we have plenty others offending us! ;) I remember my husband had to sign the release form when she went for her autopsy and I think he had to sign it "Father". Ugh. Breaks my heart we have to do all of this for our babies. I wish it was all different. Sending you many big hugs today!!!!Maggiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13339073098081631983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-354161003641219372010-06-25T19:34:26.180-05:002010-06-25T19:34:26.180-05:00Kristen,
I understand your feelings, I opted not ...Kristen,<br /><br />I understand your feelings, I opted not to keep my father's ashes at my house because it made me very uneasy. However, after some time passed, I slowly grew more okay with the idea...it took time.<br /><br />Perhaps you can look for an urn that you like. My precious friend, mother to triplet angel girls, found a beautiful urn on line that she liked. It took her 1 yr to do this, so take your time and do what your heart tells you to do. There is no right or wrong way.<br /><br />Thanks for always being so transparent, so honest. I only wish you did not have to endure all this pain :(<br /><br />Sending you a BIG HUGAndreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06709001842788289402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-69391649165462305352010-06-25T18:57:02.880-05:002010-06-25T18:57:02.880-05:00We raced to pick up Jackson's ashes as soon as...We raced to pick up Jackson's ashes as soon as they called to tell us we could. I just couldn't wait to have them here with me. I thought it would bring me comfort. Instead, it made me sick to my stomach. I cried and cried, I think because I didn't feel the connection that I thought I would. Probably for the same reason you don't. I won't be able to scatter them. Even though I don't feel that connection, it's all I have. I never bought an outfit for him or even took a picture of my baby belly. So it's really the only tangible thing I have. And it sucks...Kelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873287888689350939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-28569180941940284992010-06-25T18:52:37.456-05:002010-06-25T18:52:37.456-05:00Emily, I think your energy theory is a beautiful t...Emily, I think your energy theory is a beautiful thought, and I hope this didn't come across as though I think those who do feel a connection with their baby's ashes are silly for feeling that way or something. I just find it interesting how we all grieve differently and find comfort in different things. Maybe we will look at getting a nicer container to put the ashes in. I didn't even think of looking at urns and no one at the funeral home ever mentioned it.Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05292279414919447049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-76748866995137728002010-06-25T18:32:45.193-05:002010-06-25T18:32:45.193-05:00The real reason I probably have a strong connectio...The real reason I probably have a strong connection to Aidan's ashes is because of the urn they are in. It's a very plain square wooden urn but it has his name on it and we picked it out for him (it's the only thing I ever bought him). I feel conected to pretty much ANYTHING that has his name. We got a piece of mail from the government with his name on it and I had my husband take a photo of it. It was the only piece of mail we'll ever get with his beautiful name written on it. If I just had a plain white box with his ashes I'm not sure I would feel as strongly about it...but maybe I might...I guess it kind of goes along with my energy theory. Some of the carbon of Aidan's body remains in those ashes. Those carbon molecules belonged to the food that I ate and digested that helped him to grow. Sciencey-me just can't help but really DIG that. But yeah, I could see how you would feel that way.Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17587287197734518952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-62598682093824311502010-06-25T18:17:56.997-05:002010-06-25T18:17:56.997-05:00You're right. We should never, ever, EVER have...You're right. We should never, ever, EVER have to sign off as a mother to a deceased child. When I read your words, it took me back...10 months ago...and how I absolutely hated having to do that. I took so much pride in signing my name as Ayden's mother when he was alive, but after he died, I found it so cruel. <br /><br />You're so brave for writing this. I love your honesty. For some reason, some people are shocked by honesty when it comes to this type of situation. I find it helpful to be very honest...helps me process, and reading the words of others going through the same situation helps me process, too.<br /><br />Take care of yourself...Lindsayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07289549963275047672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-45303692500877909652010-06-25T18:17:21.825-05:002010-06-25T18:17:21.825-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Lindsayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07289549963275047672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-62305535929006494892010-06-25T17:38:58.286-05:002010-06-25T17:38:58.286-05:00what got me was the cremation certificate that ask...what got me was the cremation certificate that asks for the social security number. on that line they had written, "N/A 25 weeks gestation." i HATE that my son was an "N/A."<br /><br />i don't feel any special connection to kenny's ashes either, but we will not scatter him. when i first saw the urn in person i burst into tears because it was so small. just the thought that all that's left of my beautiful perfect boy fits into that tiny container.Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13450929181331922606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3719166953467554528.post-31811330136552289252010-06-25T17:27:31.010-05:002010-06-25T17:27:31.010-05:00No offense taken at all. We opted not to cremate ...No offense taken at all. We opted not to cremate our boys because I knew I would feel the same way towards their remains. Nothing wrong with cremation in any way shape or form it just wasn't for us or what we wanted. We opted to lay our sons to rest in a cemetery. They are now all together ... forever but they too left as soon as their tiny hearts stopped beating. <br /><br />I couldn't sign anything at the funeral home, my husband did and I remember Jason signing "Father" next to relationship and it broke my heart into a millions pieces that he had to do that twice.<br /><br />*hugs*Courtneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11725206633751351133noreply@blogger.com