Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Mama's touch

Dear Elliot,
There's something about being sick that makes you really want your mom. Dads are fun (believe me, I was a big-time Daddy's girl!) but when you're not feeling good, there's just nothing like a mama's touch. When I think of being sick as a kid, I think of my mom setting up a nest full of blankets in the recliner, stirring the bubbles out of a glass of 7-UP to calm my tummy, or making me grilled cheese and Campbell's tomato soup to sooth my sore throat. I picture her gently feeling my forehead to check for fevers, and getting up with me a million times in the middle of the night to hold my hair back as I throw up into a big plastic mixing bowl. Even now that I'm an (almost!) 27 year old adult, when I'm sick I still want my mommy to come take care of me and make everything better.

This weekend you came down with your first cold and sure enough, all you wanted was Mama. I still am in such disbelief sometimes that 'Mama' is me. That I am the person you want to pick you up and cuddle you tight and sing to you when you cry. That the way I feel about my mom is the way you feel about me. Of course I hate seeing you feeling yucky, but the realization that I am someone's mommy, that there is this perfect little human being that depends on me for everything, is kind of amazing and hard to really grasp.

I look at you and I just to take away any discomfort you have. I know this was just a little cold and there will be many, many more (and much, much worse!), but it was my first taste of that slightly powerless feeling where you wish you had a magic wand you could wave to make everything all better.   

You do seem to be feeling much better today, so maybe all those extra mama hugs and snuggles did their job after all:

There are still moments every single day where I just stare at you and think "wow, he's really mine." I am floored and so thankful that I get to be your mom. How did I get so lucky?

I hope you continue to feel better, sweet boy. And I hope that you know I would make that stupid nasty cold go away in an instant if only I could! :)

I love you so much,


amy said...

You are such a good mommy!!! I've been following your blog from the very beginning and enjoy it so much every time you post. Your new baby boy is simply precious. I'm very happy for you! Amy

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