Saturday, October 30, 2010

Baking with Kristin!

Today's lesson: Carrot "muffins" with chai tea frosting

Step one: Follow this recipe for the muffins. Until you realize you only have 1 teaspoon of vanilla left (and according to your husband, vanilla is very important when baking).  So just cut everything in half. Except all the spices. Don't bother measuring those. It's much easier to just dump those in straight from the jar (and I mean really, what's the point in adding anything in quantities as small as 1/8 of a teaspoon anyway?). Oh, and instead of baking at 350 degrees, set the oven to somewhere around 275, since you always, always end up burning everything you put in the oven.

Step two: For the frosting, mix a ton of butter up with like half a bag of powdered sugar.

Step three: Grind up the contents of a chai tea packet (tea bag) in your Magic Bullet, then add to the frosting. This is quite possibly the only time this little machine that, according to the infomercial, was supposed to change your life, will ever serve any useful purpose, so enjoy it.

Step four: Take the muffins out of the oven when you notice the tops starting to turn a nice shade of dark brownish-black. Use a fork to try and remove them from the muffin pan to which they are completely stuck to.

Step five: Try your best to reshape into objects that somewhat resemble muffins.

Step six: Spread the frosting on top of the "muffins." As the frosting begins to melt and slide down the sides, realize that you probably should have waited for the muffins to cool before applying the butter frosting. Oops.

And there you have it! Serve with pride to your friends and family.

On second thought...maybe just feed them to the dogs :)

Until next time, friends!

Thursday, October 28, 2010


Dear Stevie,
So it's not secret I don't really get into 'signs' and things like that. It's not that I don't believe it when other people get signs from their babies, or messages from God or whatever. I am just such a logical person that it's hard for me to honestly believe that anything is actually supernatural, rather than just coincidence or me reading into things. I mean, sure, there was that one time back in August when I saw the most vivid rainbow in the sky and was sure it just had to be a sign that my 'rainbow baby' was just around the corner...but then I didn't get pregnant, so I guess it wasn't! :)

It's also no big secret that I'm not a very religious person. Especially since you died, I've had a really hard time with the whole "God thing." I want to believe. Really, really badly actually. There's just so much that doesn't make sense to me, that just doesn't add up. I'm working on it, but I'm not there yet.

Anyway, with all that said, I think maybe someone's trying to tell me something lately.

I don't like to talk a lot about 'trying to conceive' here. Mainly because my real-life friends and family read this and I don't feel comfortable with my dad, or grandmother, or random friends from high school being up-to-date on my ovulation patterns or sex schedule. But it's been a few months and I am not knocked up. I'm starting to get more than a little impatient. You came into our lives when we weren't even trying at all (preventing, actually), so I guess I stupidly expected it to happen again fairly quickly.

I've been discouraged about this. Like, come on, this is what I get for trying so hard to be hopeful?

Then over the last week or so, this simple little word keeps popping up all over the place: trust.

First, I'm talking with my doctor last week, telling her I'm worried there's something wrong with me, something keeping me from getting pregnant again. She says, "I truly believe that it will happen for you when it's meant to happen. It's easier said than done, but you've gotta trust that it will happen at just the right time."

Then a couple days ago I'm in bed, listening to iTunes on random, and just as I'm saying that I am getting really frustrated that I haven't gotten pregnant again yet to the friend I'm chatting with online, the song "I Will Trust You" by Steven Curtis Chapman comes on. These are some of the lyrics:

I don’t even want to breathe right now
All I want to do is close my eyes
And I don’t want to open them again
Till I’m standing on the other side

I don’t even want to be right now
I don’t want to think another thought
I don’t want to feel this pain I feel
But right now pain is all I’ve got
It feels like it’s all I’ve got
But I know it’s not
No I know You’re all I’ve got

And I will trust you, I’ll trust you
Trust you God I will
Even when I don’t understand
Even then I will say again
You are my God
And I will trust You 

And when nothing is making sense
Even then I will say again
God I trust You, I will trust You
I know Your heart is good
I know Your love is strong
And I know Your plans for me
Are much better than my own
So I will trust You, trust You
I trust You God, I will
Even when I can’t see the end

I probably would have brushed this off as another "trust in God song" or whatever, but Steven Curtis Chapman, the guy who wrote this song, he really gets it. I've mentioned him before here, but this was written months after his five-year-old daughter was killed, when her older brother's SUV accidentally rolled over her while she was playing on the driveway. I don't know why exactly, but the words to this song just struck me. It's like, wow. Here's a man who is able to say 'you know what, this makes absolutely no sense to me, but I'm trusting that you know what you're doing.' I think no matter what you think about God or Christianity, it's pretty amazing for someone, in the face of such unfathomable tragedy, to have that level of trust, of hope that things will work out the way they're supposed to.

Then today, Angela has a great post dealing with a lot of the feelings I've been battling as of late. She says, "Tonight another blm (baby loss mom) and I were talking online about ttc (trying to conceive) and trusting God and His timing.  I'll never figure out why His timing isn't my timing." 

There it is, that word trust again.

Alright, I hear ya!

It would appear that's what I need to do. I'm going  to try to let go of this control I think I have and trust that I will get pregnant again someday, and trust that it's going to happen when it's supposed to happen for me. It's not going to work like everything else in my life, where I can just work hard enough and make it happen on my own.

In some ways, it's been a blessing that it hasn't happened right away. Right after you died, I was convinced that I couldn't be happy again until I was pregnant. For a couple months, I sort of lived in limbo, just waiting to be pregnant again so I could start living again. The fact that its taken so long (and I know, a few months is not really "so long" for a lot of people), has forced me to find happiness, to live again, for me. Now. It's made me realize that I need to live and enjoy the life I have today.

I've been listening to that song, 'I Will Trust You,' over and over again. While I'm getting ready for work in the morning, when I'm driving home in traffic, while I'm walking the dogs. If I hear those words enough times, will I actually start to believe them? I think so. I think I'm starting to make them my own already.

I miss you, baby. Almost six months later, and you're still on my mind, and in my heart, all the time.


Monday, October 25, 2010

The Little Things Part III

Dear Stevie,
It's time once again to make an attempt at appreciating the good things in my life. Here goes nothing!

1. Decorating. I've mentioned this before, but we really haven't done much decorating in this place since we moved in at the end of April. You died less than three weeks after we moved here, and shockingly, I wasn't in much of a home decorating kind of mood after that. But over the last couple months, slowly but surely this house is looking more and more like a home.

 We found these super cheap shelf-y things and cool little candle holders at Ikea (yes, I conquered my fear of going back to Ikea!) Now that we know the shelves work alright, we're so going back to get more for around the bedroom. 

 They make for awesome watching scary movies in bed lighting!

 Not a very good picture, but this is the cutest necklace/jewelry holder ever. 

 At the top there are a bunch of little birds hanging out, adorable! And now all my necklaces are not in a tangled mess on my dresser! We'll see how long that lasts...

We went searching all over Minneapolis for some local art, and found this. I LOVE it, and it totally reminds me of our two dogs :) Oh and yes, I did crack the brand new frame we bought for it.

 Another print we found from a local Minneapolis artist. It's way cooler up close and in-person.

 I found this awesome tree candle holder at Patina and couldn't resist. It goes awesome in our tree-themed living room (and looks great next to your Names in the Sand picture!)

Another little Patina find. I've always loved this quote.

2.  Date nights/days. Dad and I have been going on lots of really fun date nights/days lately. Like walking to the theater by our house to see The Town and Jackass 3d (which was surprisingly awesome!), going out to eat at lots of great restaurants, and driving into Wisconsin for a tour of a vineyard/winery (below). As much as I wish you were here too, we are able to have a nice time, just the two of us.

3. Cooking. Okay, I must be honest, it's not actually the cooking I enjoy, but the results of your dad's cooking. He's the cook in this family! And man is he good! We just picked up two awesome cookbooks (thanks to a Barns and Noble giftcard I got for my birthday!): Jamie Oliver's Jamie's America, and Tacos by Mark Miller. Dad made us chicken, goat cheese, and apple tacos the other night and they were amazing!

4. Sweatshirt weather. It's been getting nice and chilly at night, perfect for walking the dogs with a mug of hot apple cider. :)

5. Moroccan Oil Curl Control Creme. I got my hair cut the other night and was talked into buying this stuff, and you know what? It might be the best $26.50 I've ever spent! Seeing as I go to work with my hair soaking wet like 90% of the time, I have been greatly in need of something to help it look somewhat decent as it dries. I'm in love. No frizz, no crunchiness, and it smells like heaven.

6. Lazy rainy days. The last couple days have been rainy; perfect for cuddling up on the couch with the dogs, sending Dad off to buy candy at the gas station, and watching movies. There are lots of days when I feel like being lazy and laying on the couch all day. And crappy weather makes me feel like it's more acceptable to do it!

I miss you, baby. Wish you were here for all the boring, day-to-day joys in life.


Thursday, October 21, 2010

Proud of Myself

Dear Stevie,

Yesterday, I had to go back to my doctor's office. After my 4-week postpartum appointment back in June, I really, really, really did not want to step foot in that place again, at least not until I was pregnant again.

The medical building the clinic is in is really close to both our house and my office. For the last five months, I have figured out all kinds of crazy routes to avoid having to even drive past that place. If I'd see that parking lot, my mind would immediately go right back to the morning of May 7th, stumbling around in the rain, frantically scanning the sea of vehicles for our car through the thickest of tears. Pulling out of the lot into busy traffic, secretly hoping someone would run a red light and put me out of my misery.

So yeah, there are just a lot of pretty traumatic memories attached to that place, and I was really nervous about going there again, especially by myself.

But I did, and you know what? It was really not that bad at all.

I walk in, and of course the first thing I see is a huge, 38 weeks+ belly signing in ahead of me. No tears. It doesn't really bother me, honest. Then as I'm waiting to get called back, there's a couple 'oohing' and 'ahhing' over a long strip of ultrasound pictures. Instead of getting all sad, I actually smile. Really! I remember the day we were that excited couple. I let my mind wander back to the moment the Tech said, 'it's definitely a girl,' and your dad and I looked at each other and both exclaimed, 'really?!!' at exactly the same time, and was just...happy. Strangely, instead of feeling jealous of this random couple, I'm excited for them. I'm thankful that I have had the chance to experience that joy too (even if the ending wasn't what I thought and hoped it would be). I'm hopeful that I'll get to experience it again someday.

Later, when the nurse is taking my blood pressure, sees the tattoo on my wrist and cheerfully says, "5/8/10, what is that for?" I confidently say, "that's my daughter's birthday. She was stillborn." Then, when she says, "Oh I'm so sorry. How are you holding up?" I answer, "you know, it's really hard, but we're taking it day by day, and I'm doing okay." And I actually believe it.

Then I see my doctor. She tells me she saw me on the news back in July, asks me if I'm still blogging. I timidly tell her that I've actually started a pregnancy/infant loss support nonprofit. I fumble around in my purse, mumble something like, "I think I actually happen to have some cards in here somewhere..." I pull out a big stack of postcards, a bit self-conscience, worried she's going to think it's silly. But she looks at them, tears up, and says, "Kristin, I have goosebumps." She totally gets what we're trying to do, loves the idea. She gets dangerously close to the "maybe there is a reason why Stevie died" territory, but I let it slide because she's just so nice and making me feel so damn good about my self. She says, "you should be really proud of yourself." I say, "I am." And again, I actually believe it.

At the lab, I make small talk with the nurse who is drawing my blood. When she's able to find a vein right away and makes the comment, "you have really great blood," I refrain from saying, "actually, my blood sucks! It's what killed my daughter!" and instead smile and thank her for the strange compliment (whatever it means!)

I make an appointment to come back for another blood draw in a couple weeks, and leave feeling really, really, good. Strong. Hopeful. Human.

Yeah I know, it's really not like making it through a doctor's appointment is some huge accomplishment. But I think it just helped me to realize that even though sometimes it doesn't feel like it, I am making progress. I'm not getting over it, but I'm getting through it. And if I squint my eyes hard enough, I am starting to see some light up ahead at the end of this tunnel.

Miss you, baby.


Monday, October 18, 2010

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Most of this is copied/pasted straight from Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope, but I wanted to personally thank everyone in my little corner of the internet who has been so supportive of this project. You are all truly amazing people. It wasn't long ago (about 5 months ago to be exact) that I went online, stumbled upon Grieve Out Loud and a few "baby loss" blogs (including Julie's, Birn's, Angie's, Andrea's, Maggie's, Lara's, and Kristin's, to name just a few). Since then, I have been able to connect with so many wonderful mamas (waaaay too many to list here!), and I am so incredibly thankful that you've all stuck around and stood by Andrea and I as we've gone forward with Faces.

Not only does your support mean a lot to me as Kristin, the "Founder of Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope," it means the world to me personally, as Kristin, "Stevie's Mom." So thank you. I love you guys.

Update on our I AM THE FACE campaign:

First, let's talk about the faces. As of today, we have had a little over 1,900 face pictures uploaded to We set out to show the world two main things: 1) that while pregnancy/infant loss is not often talked about, it's very, very common, and 2) that miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss are not things that happen to "other people" off in the shadows somewhere, but things that can and do happen to anyone--your neighbor, your sister, your co-worker, and your friend. Real, beautiful, "normal" everyday faces. It's easy for people to ignore an issue. But put a face on it, and it's incredibly hard for people to turn a blind eye.

Next, the names. Just as striking as the faces, seeing all of our children's names (or nicknames), together in one place, is a powerful, powerful image. As we were adding names to the "Gone Too Soon" page, we kept thinking, each one of these names represents an actual baby, someone's world. They represent hours and hours spent on baby name sites. Each one was argued over, talked about, and decided on with so much love and excitement. Each one of these names has touched who knows how many people with their short but meaningful lives. Our children were more than ideas, or "products of conception." They were real babies with real names. They existed.

And then there are the donations. Our goal was to raise $2,000...and we raised over $5,000! We are completely blown away by the generosity of the over 550 people who made a financial donation to our cause. The majority of donations came from our friends and families--people that have not lost a baby themselves, but who wanted to show their support. Sometimes we feel like the 'outsiders' don't care, but this shows that a lot of them really do, maybe more than we think. We saw an uncle donate $100 in honor of his niece, grandparents making donations on behalf of their grandchildren, and friends pitching in what they could to support the person in their life who had lost a baby. Of course, many of you who submitted your face also donated as well. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your support. We are so excited for all the great things we'll be able to do with this money.

While we might not have made as big of a splash as our friendly competition, breast cancer, we are thrilled with how many people were made aware of our message through this campaign. An amazing 5,620 people shared the link to on facebook. If you assume each of those people has an average of 200 facebook friends, that's over a million people (!!!) at the very least seeing something about our campaign! On October 15th alone, we had over 5,000 visitors to the website. Our faces were seen and our voices were heard!

So again, thank you to everyone for making this little campaign so successful! It truly was a grassroots effort, and I appreciate every blog post, facebook status, and twitter update you did to help spread the word. And of course I need to send two VERY big, gigantic thank you's to my wonderful friend and partner-in-crime Andrea, who doesn't always get all the credit and acknowledgment she deserves, but puts in a ton of work behind the scenes and who is just brilliant. :) And her amazing sister, Sarah, who volunteers so much of her time doing all of our beautiful web/logo/forum stuff. So blessed to know you both.

And to my precious daughter, Stevie Joy: it's all because of you, baby girl. 

Alright, this is too long. Thanks for reading if you made it this far!



Thursday, October 14, 2010

What Could Have Been, What Was

On Baby Center today. To the right, the reminder that I should have a 2-month old baby today. Over to the left, a link to the website I started because I don't. Strange to see these two things that could not have both happened, together, in one place.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Fall Love

Dear Stevie,
Just felt like putting up some pictures. It's been ridiculously nice here. Like 70's/80's, which is unreal for October in Minnesota (the first year we lived here, there was a snow storm on Halloween!) The dogs are loving it.

And we made sushi the other night. Amazing. See, there's one good thing about not being pregnant! :)

This has nothing to do with anything, but Dad and I came up with our top 10 albums the other night over dinner. I'm pretty sure mine wins, hands down. What do you think?

I can only imagine the adorable pictures I'd be taking if you were around, baby. Love you so much.


Day 12

Day 12 of the 30-day blog challenge: What's something you're OCD about?

You know, I am actually not 'OCD' about much. I'm not an organized person. I'm not a clean person, at all. Messes and piles and dishevelment really don't bother me one bit. I'm not a 'germaphob' by any means (I have no problem sharing an ice cream cone with my dogs, and I am a firm believer in the 10-second rule). I probably wouldn't even notice if you didn't wash your hands after coming out of the bathroom.

But use the incorrect form of 'your' or 'their' and I will go all psycho on you.

You know how for some people, one little thing not in its proper place can totally drive them crazy? That's me with certain grammar mistakes. I can't handle it. An innocent statement like, "your such a great friend" can send me over the edge. A simple questions like "do you want to go their with us?" is enough to ruin my day (okay, I might be exaggerating just a little, but you get the point).

I am one of those people that can't help but edit the newspaper I'm reading or the magazine I'm flipping through. There was this one time I found a greeting card that had on the front "You can never have to much of a good thing." That right there is the visual equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. It just hurts to read.

Alright, rant over. :)

Monday, October 11, 2010

Day 11

Day 11 - a photo of you recently and how it makes you feel seeing it now.

I decided I want to include two photos of myself.

This first one was taken about 6 weeks after you died, after I had spent 45 minutes or so curled up on the floor of your half-finished nursery, bawling my eyes out. You can read all about it here. I really don't know why I decided to document my red, blood-shot eyes, or the puffy bags under them, but I'm kind of glad I did. Seeing myself like this brings me right back to those dark, horrible days. As much as I'm happy, I guess, that the tears now come less frequently, sometimes I really miss the days when my grief was all-consuming. When I allowed my world to revolve around you and the sadness I was feeling.

Keeping with the theme of bathroom self-pics (God, I feel like a 15-year-old Myspacer right now!), this second picture was taken last month. So 4 months or so after you died. I have a genuine smile on my face. I have a cute headband in my hair. I'm wearing a cute new outfit. In short, I'm feeling good about myself. I guess it's just strange how someone can go from the first picture, to the second picture, in a matter of a couple months. Time is a funny thing.

Today, I look like the girl in picture #2 most of the time. But there are certainly days when I'm back to picture #1. And I think that's okay. They are both beautiful, in different ways.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Day 10

Day 10 of the 30-day blog challenge:

A picture taken of you over 10 years ago and how it makes you feel now.

These were taken more like 20 years ago. I wonder if you would have ended up looking like me, Stevie? This is the age I was most looking forward to you being. Playing Little Bo Peep around the house, wearing bows in your hair. It would have been so wonderful.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Day 9

Day 9 of the 30-day blog challenge:

A photo you've taken since your loss.

"Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother. She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my covers." -From 'If I Die Young' by The Band Perry

Friday, October 8, 2010

5 Months

Dear Stevie,
How is it already the 8th again? Today is 5 months since you were born. I don't really have much to say about that except that it really sucks. And that I miss you like crazy.

Today is already off to a bad start. I woke up (still) sick and then ran out of conditioner, so my hair is a big wet mess of tangles. Super hot.

Here is today's entry for the 30-day blog challenge.
Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad.

Well, isn't that the perfect topic for today. This makes me very, very sad. My husband, your daddy. I wish he never had to feel like this. I wish no one did.

Love you, Stevie girl.


Thursday, October 7, 2010

Hopping on the Bandwagon

Dear Stevie,
Everyone seems to be doing this 30-day blog challenge thing, so I figured I should hop on the bandwagon and give it a shot. I'm like a week behind, so these first few answers are going to be pretty short and to the point. No one give me too much crap if I get to day 16ish and decide I'm bored (or forget about it altogether!)

Day 1 - a song that reminds you of your child, or one that you can't listen to anymore and why.

I used to play 'Isn't she Lovely' by Stevie Wonder for you all the time, pretty much since the day we found out you were a girl. I'd put my iPhone on my belly and let you dance around to your namesake on repeat. I loved it because Stevie Wonder is blind, but he's singing about how beautiful and lovely his daughter is. That's how I felt about you, baby. I knew you were the most beautiful little girl, even though I hadn't seen you yet. For awhile, I couldn't listen to that song again because it just made me too sad. Now it still makes me tear up, but in more of a good way.

Day 2 - a movie that helped you get through the hard times, or one that jumps out at you after your loss.

Right after you died, the only movies I would watch were really stupid/ridiculous action movies. That's all I could handle, movies that allowed for no thinking or use of the brain. We watched every Steven Segal movie streaming on Netflix, then moved onto Jean Claude Van Damme. I can still remember the worst one of all was called 'Replicant,' It was so bad, in fact, it was the first thing to make me laugh after coming home from the hospital. The tag line was "The future's most ruthless killer... to destroy him, they had to create him." I'll let you imagine how horrible it is.

Day 3 - a television program that helped you either get through hard times or that moves you.

Six words. Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. The day I realized Netflix had 10 seasons streaming was a good, good day.

Day 4 - your favorite book. has it changed since your loss?

My favorite book is Hemmingway's 'The Sun Also Rises,' followed closely behind by Twain's 'Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (give me a break, I was an English major!) Those have no changed. One book that has been added to my long list of favorites since you died is Elizabeth McCracken's 'An Exact Replica of a Figment of my Imagination.' To be honest, I was really not into any of the other books about baby loss I tried reading. But she is an amazing writer and it's an amazing book, even for the non-blms of the world.

Day 5 - your favorite quote.

Oh boy. This changes like every week, sometimes every day. Just recently I saw a quote on the Compassionate Friends Facebook page that I really love. "Grief with purpose is an awesome force." I think this is so true, and I've definitely felt it in my own life as of late. How many amazing, beautiful things have been started as a result of horrible, painful tragedy? Grief can be such a powerful force. One to be reckoned with for sure.

Day 6 - twenty things that calm you.

Oh fun, I love lists.
  • Writing
  • My dogs
  • Chai tea lattes
  • Jack Johnson
  • Long showers
  • Hugs from Andy
  • My favorite movie, 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'
  • Taking pictures
  • A big plate of cheese and crackers
  • Red wine
  • Ansel Adams
  • Radiohead
  • Walks
  • Tandem bike rides
  • Candy
  • Naps
  • Blankets
  • Snow
  • Candles
  • Soup
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy.

This is the first day I really started noticing my bump with you. :) I think was around 15 weeks. I was just feeling so good. So happy.

Here's what's to come this month. Get excited people!

Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad.
Day 9 - a photo you took since your loss.
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you and how it makes you feel seeing it now.
Day 11 - a photo of you recently and how it makes you feel seeing it now.
Day 12 - something you are OCD about.
Day 13 - a fictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss.
Day 14 - a non-fictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss.
Day 15 - what you like about your house.
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly).
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc) that moves you.
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding.
Day 19 - a talent of yours.
Day 20 - a hobby of yours and how it changed since your loss.
Day 21 - a recipe.
Day 22 - a website that has been meaningful since your loss.
Day 23 - a youtube video that makes you laugh.
Day 24 - where you live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - your worst habit since your child's death.
Day 28 - what's in your handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Shameless Plug

Is everyone getting sick of all my posts about Faces yet?

Too bad, it's my blog :)

Over at our I AM THE FACE campaign ( we are trying to get 2,000 faces up on the site by Oct. 15th (Pregnancy/Infant Loss Awareness Day) to represent the 2,000 women who lose a baby every day, in the US alone. If you haven't already, please, please upload your picture. It only takes a second (ok, maybe like 30)!

If you're reading this because you are one of my friends or family members, it would mean a LOT to me if you'd go on and make an easy $1 donation in Stevie's honor. We're getting close to our goal of raising $2,000 to support the 2,000 daily faces of baby loss. With this money, we will be able to start the process of printing and distributing full-color booklets to hospitals (to hand out to women who lose a baby), that include a listing of online resources, 'Real Advice from Real Women who have Been There,' 5-6 real stories of hope and loss, and a tear-off sheet with advice for friends and family. I think they will be really, really great!

If you don't want to or can't donate, there are 'supporter' facebook badges that you can also put up as your profile picture, either now or on October 15th.

I am pretty pumped up about this, if you can't tell:

With my sweet 'I am the Face' hoodie, Faces postcards, and 'I am the Face' keychain :)

Would you like some of these beauties to pass out too? Click here.

Look closely, and you'll see even Foxy is sporting some 'I am the Face' Merch. If you want some for yourself, click here.

Check out her 'supporter' button. What a loyal dog. Ha.

Thanks everyone for all your incredible support!

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