Tuesday, May 8, 2012

2 years

Dear Stevie,
Hi sweet girl. I can't believe you should be turning two years old today. Talking, walking, playing dress up, getting into everything. So excited to help Mama take care of your new baby brother.

Although Elliot certainly has helped heal my heart in ways I never thought possible, there is still a Stevie-shaped piece of it missing. A piece that no other baby in the world will ever be able to fill. A piece that will always belong to you.

It's raining today, just like it was the weekend you were born. I remember driving to the hospital the day we found out you had died and thinking, "even the sky is crying today."

I just want you to know how loved you are. How much we miss you, every single day.



I've been reading the children's book Love You Forever to Elliot a lot lately. In the story, the mom sings this to her baby every night as she's rocking him to sleep:

"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be."

I feel the same way about you, Stevie girl. As long as I'm living, my first baby you'll be.

All my love,
Mom

15 comments:

Elle's mommy said...

Thinking of you and your family today Kristin...Happy Birthday to your sweet Stevie...

Nicki

Mrs. I said...

Kristin, I have followed your story for more than two years...we were due a day apart with our baby girls and on the babycenter August 2010 DDboard. I laughed seeing a picture of you in your orange intertube swimsuit and walked beside you in our pregnancies virtually until May. I found it more difficult to read your blog as I continued my own pregnancy out of sadness, fear, guilt and sorrow. I'm sure you stopped following mine for your own reasons.

After Lily was born, I emotionally was able to resume following yours...

I have cried with you, screamed out in frustration for you, prayed for you and experienced pure happiness for you with Elliot.

Just know there is an on-earth baby girl, Stevie's age, whose life was impacted by her mama walking beside you and Stevie.

I'm so, so very happy for you and your husband about your son!

xoxox

Emily said...

Hey Kristin,

I hope Stevie's day is gentle on you and your family. It's raining here today too.

I love that picture of Elliot's feet and your husband's tattoo. A wonderful way to always keep Stevie close and a great way to introduce Elliot to Stevie's memory when he's older.

Love to you and yours.

Michele said...

Remembering Stevie and your fam today on her birthday. Hugs

LauraJane said...

Happy birthday Stevie.

I love that book, but it never ceases to bring out a flight of tears. First baby, first "little love", all that and so much more. I hope you find today peaceful.

Dana said...

Thinking of you and Stevie today. xoxo

Mary said...

One of my favorite books. Happy second birthday Stevie. Much love to you, your momma and your whole family.

car said...

Sending love for Stevie and her mama. Happy birthday sweet girl.

Kelley and Chris said...

xoxo

Lori said...

I read and have read that book about 3-4 times a week for the last 16 months.

I cry every single time.

All my love as you remember sweet Stevie. Never forgotten.
xoxoxo

Hope's Mama said...

Stevie Joy is loved and missed. Happy second birthday, little one.
xo

Jaime said...

Happy 2nd birthday Stevie!!

And on a side note...did you know that Love You Forever is written by a babyloss dad? He lost 2 babies and the 'chorus' in the book actually started out as a song which he then wrote into a book. :)

http://robertmunsch.com/book/love-you-forever

x <3 o

erinlovesjolene said...

Belated Happy Birthday Stevie. Kristin, what a perfect tribute to your sweet girl. I am just ending my third miscarriage and you put words to what I feel - there is a piece of my heart and soul that belongs to each of them.

Crystal said...

Hugs!!

thishumanscondition said...

Oh my goodness! You had a baby boy! My daughter's kindergarten graduation is on the 2 year anniversary of Mabel's birth, 2 days after the 2 year anniversary of her death. My baby boy, William, was born in August. I can't believe this combination of joy, sadness, fear, elation, longing. It is a beautifully complicated world. Congratulations on your gorgeous little man!
-Mary (thishumanscondition)

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