A change of seasons

Dear Stevie,
Well, fall is definitely in the air. At the beginning of last week, it was in the 90's and humid, and this weekend it was cool enough for hoodies and sweaters and my new leather boots. Kids will be back at the bus stop at the end of our block tomorrow morning, wearing fresh school clothes and brand new backpacks. You can even smell the changing of seasons in the air.

Summer 2010 is officially over. The summer that was supposed to be the best of my life, that turned into the worst of my life, has come and gone. In some ways, I can't believe it's already over, and in others, it seems like it was May just yesterday.

I can't say I accomplished a whole lot this summer, aside from making it through 10 seasons of Law and Order SVU, four seasons of Rescue Me, and countless stupid action movies streaming on Netflix, but I certainly did a whole lot of growing, and a whole lot of learning. It's like how in movies and books, there's almost "that summer that changes everything." This summer was certainly my "summer of change."

Summer 2010 belonged to you, Baby. It was your season. And as it's coming to an end, I can't help but feel like you're slipping further and further away from me. I feel just like I did at the end of my six-week 'maternity' leave, when I had to go back to work and reenter the 'real world' again. It feels like I've reached another milestone or turning point or something, and while it feels good to be done with this wretched summer, it's definitely bitter sweet. I want to move forward, I want life to be happy and normal again. But I don't want to forget.
--
Dad and I had a nice, low-key Labor Day weekend. It started out with an outdoor movie at the lake Friday night with the dogs. It was the first official sweater night of the fall; it got down to 50 degrees!

Saturday I had this strange desire to cook and clean. This is a pretty huge deal, considering my cooking/cleaning desire usually comes about, oh, maybe once or twice a year. So while Dad was working at the bike shop, I mega-cleaned the house, went to the grocery store, and made an amazing spicy chicken masala dish, with cumin-roated carrots on the side. Pretty freaking good, if I don't say so myself! Dad was super happy and excited (and shocked!) when he came home from work to find a clean kitchen, a set table, and dinner in the oven.

Later, we had a movie night by candlelight. Somehow your dad convinced me to watch 'Crank 2.' It was pretty ridiculous.

Yesterday it was haircut day for the girls. I say haircut 'day' because it really is almost a day-long process. We've been putting it off for months, and their hair was getting so long they were starting to look like they belonged to neglectful dog owners, so it felt great to get it done.

Last night we celebrated my birthday (a couple weeks late) at Grandma and Grandpa's house (Dad's parents).

Sharing some of my ice cream cake with the dogs :)

A picture of Foxy, just because she's so cute

Today I finally started to decorate the house a little bit. We had just moved into the new place a week and a half before you died, so I hadn't done much to it yet at that point, and just haven't cared to start working on it since. It's a work in progress, but I put up some new frames today:

The tree picture on the left was taken by Andrea--isn't it amazing!? Your feet are in the frame on the bottom.

I love this saying.

And this afternoon I got to wear my beautiful new boots. Cute shoes, my favorite thing about fall :)

Overall, I'm feeling pretty decent these days. I did almost puke when I saw an infant-sized bear cub Halloween costume at Target today, but I recovered pretty quickly. I have high hopes for fall. I'm trying to see the changing of seasons as a fresh start. Come on fall 2010, please be kind to me.

Love you baby girl.

Always,
Mom