Day 11 - a photo of you recently and how it makes you feel seeing it now.
I decided I want to include two photos of myself.
This first one was taken about 6 weeks after you died, after I had spent 45 minutes or so curled up on the floor of your half-finished nursery, bawling my eyes out. You can read all about it here. I really don't know why I decided to document my red, blood-shot eyes, or the puffy bags under them, but I'm kind of glad I did. Seeing myself like this brings me right back to those dark, horrible days. As much as I'm happy, I guess, that the tears now come less frequently, sometimes I really miss the days when my grief was all-consuming. When I allowed my world to revolve around you and the sadness I was feeling.
Keeping with the theme of bathroom self-pics (God, I feel like a 15-year-old Myspacer right now!), this second picture was taken last month. So 4 months or so after you died. I have a genuine smile on my face. I have a cute headband in my hair. I'm wearing a cute new outfit. In short, I'm feeling good about myself. I guess it's just strange how someone can go from the first picture, to the second picture, in a matter of a couple months. Time is a funny thing.
Today, I look like the girl in picture #2 most of the time. But there are certainly days when I'm back to picture #1. And I think that's okay. They are both beautiful, in different ways.
Makes the Missing Lighter
1 hour ago