I need your input on something. I think I want to write a book. Well, more like turn some of my letters to Stevie from this blog (and others that I haven't shared here) into a book. I've actually wanted to do this for quite a while, but then I'd think, "who am I kidding? I'm not a good enough writer to do that," or "no one would want to read it," or "I don't have time." But lately I feel like I'm sort of on a roll, really fired up, and two words keep repeating in my head:
I mean, all the people out there that have published books aren't necessarily better at writing than everyone else in the world--they just did it. They went for it. I've been making a really conscious effort of doing that, of not just talking about doing something "someday," but actually taking the leap and making it happen. And so far, it's worked out pretty well! I can't get enough of that feeling! The feeling you get when you are able to take a dream and watch it become reality. It's so exhilarating.
But anyway, back to the book.
What I want to do is tell my story--Stevie's story--through the letters I've written to her. I want to start at the beginning, when she was a tiny clump of cells, two pink lines on a pregnancy test, through my pregnancy, and the year after losing her. For a while I've been waiting for a good 'ending' for the book. Some happy, neat way of wrapping everything up. Now I realize how silly (and stupid) that is. I mean, isn't that the point? That her story isn't ending; it's only just beginning.
While obviously I want this book to be something that other 'babyloss' moms can resonate with and find comfort in, I don't see it as simply a pregnancy/infant loss resource. The story I want to tell is about more than losing a baby--it's about growing up. About the lessons you learn when life doesn't go as planned. About taking a horrible, devastating situation and using it to create something good. About the power of a mother's love. About survival.
If you can't tell, I'm kind of excited about this!
I'd really love your input on this idea. What do you think? Would you read a book like the one I've described? What do you think about having the format be letters rather than the traditional narrative form? Any thoughts on self-publishing (probably the route I will take)? Do you remember any posts/letters you definitely think I should include? Please, be brutally honest--if you don't think it's a good idea, say so; I promise you won't hurt my feelings :)
Thanks so much for your help!
2 hours ago