Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Doin it!

Dear Readers,
Thank you all SO much for the kind and supportive comments on my last post. I really needed the confidence-booster! So I took the first step and copied/pasted the entries I want to include in my book into manuscript format.

Right now, I have my story divided into three parts:

Part One: The Pregnancy (from the day I found out up until my last letter, 3 days before Stevie died)
Part Two: The Loss, and the Summer that Followed (the day Stevie was born and the 2 months of intense grieving that followed)
Part Three: The Start of Something Good, and Finding My New Normal (the day I started Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope and the months of good and bad days that followed)

I'm keeping it in journal format, starting each entry with the date and the amount of time since Stevie died (during part two, I'm writing this out to the exact day, even hour at the very beginning, because that's how I counted the days during those intense 2 months after her death--ie: 2 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours after the loss...by the time we get to part 3, I start writing in terms of general months--ie: about 9 months after the loss).

I am also going to be writing an into/prologue and an epilogue, talking a bit about where I am today, how I want my story to continue to play out, how I was waiting for a happy "ending," but that I now realize that my story, Stevie's story, is only just beginning.

I am also planning on including a section of pictures at the beginning of each new part of the book, and I'll most likely add some kind of resource guide/further reading section at the end. The title, of course, will be Dear Stevie.

I'm not gonna lie, it felt really, really awesome to put everything together into manuscript format. To see all my words come together into this thing I can physically hold in my hands. Feel the weight of. Scribble notes all over.

I hadn't actually re-read everything I've written here, in order, ever before. It was really neat to see the progress I've made over the last year. As much as it hasn't felt that way sometimes, in the midst of everything, you can really see a big transformation taking place when you step back and look at it from the outside. I'm really proud of that.

And I don't want to toot my own horn or come across like some cocky egomaniac, but as I was re-reading what I've written over the last year I couldn't help but think, "you know, this is actually pretty decent stuff I've got here." I am so glad that I wrote down what I was feeling everyday, especially in those days and weeks right after Stevie died. There's no way I'd be able to go back and remember, much less articulate, exactly how those days felt if I were to try.

Anyway, thanks again for your encouragement! I am excited to get editing and writing!

Love,
Kristin

22 comments:

Tiffany said...

wow wow wow. this is awesome!

Julie said...

Excited for you!

Deanna said...

yay!! can't wait to see this progress :)
so excited!! very awesome.

Tiffany said...

this is fabulous girl! Ive been wanting to do the same thing for years but have no idea how to even get started. Im so proud of you.

CourtneyAnna said...

Awesome job Kristin! :-)

katie said...

yay! I would totally buy and read it! good luck!

allenaim photography and design said...

I am first in line....

Ausmerican Housewife said...

You need this ;)

http://xkcd.com/757/

fre1622 said...

Kristin, Congrats on your decision to write a book about your experience. I think it will be a tremendous help to others going through the horrible experience of baby loss. All the best, Freida

Aubree's Mommy said...

Yay! Congrats!!! I am SO excited to read it!

Melissa said...

Wow, you've made so much progress already! I was a fellow mom-to-be on the August 2010 BBC board, and I have been reading your blog ever since. I have never lost a baby, but I wanted to let you know that your letters to Stevie and book-to-be will be invaluable to all parents--not just to those who have suffered loss. I hope this doesn't sound crass, but reading your letters makes me even more thankful for my healthy little boy. When I'm sitting in his nursery rocking him to sleep for the third or fourth time, frustrated that I have to get up in a couple of hours to get ready for work, I sometimes think of you and Stevie and how you never got to rock her to sleep.

Nika M. said...

So excited for you!

Beryl said...

This is going to be such an amazing resource for other women out there!! And look at all the work you've done already to make this a reality. Just awesome!

Kerri said...

I get chills whenever I hear you talk about this, because of that moment I had, that I shared with you.

I am so proud of you for doing this.

<3 Love you Kristin.

Rachel said...

I am a new reader and blogger, but just wanted to let you know that your blog and Faces of Loss have helped me a lot in the past 5 weeks since I lost my daughter. I think a book is a great idea, your writing is very clean.

Bryson Bunch said...

I love reading your blog and am excited for your book! I didn't realize that your Stevie died from blood clots from MTHFR disorder until I just reread your "About Me." Our Isaac died 3 months ago from blood clots in the placenta and I just found out I am a carrier of MTHFR. It makes your story so much more real for me. Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

Hi Kristin! I am so excited for your book! You are so awesome!

I am sure you know this - but, just in case - your address and phone number are in the picture you posted. Not sure if you care that it's out there!

Congrats! You are truly inspiring!

Brooke said...

Congratulations! I know this will come across as kind of weird, but I just have to say that you are so CUTE and normal and fun and reading your story was so helpful because when my baby died, I truly felt like a "medusa"--like a terrible freak, twisted by grief and pain, who would never recover any of the joy or happiness or easy pleasure in life that I once had. Cute and normal and fun felt like they were ideas lost to me forever. Now I know that things will never be what they could have been, but your story is such a lovely tribute to the idea that losing your daughter did not mean losing yourself entirely, and that grief changed you, but not necessarily for the worse. That's a beautiful gift for the rest of us, and it makes me grateful for your Stevie.

Jenny said...

I'm going to try and comment on this post, because I tried on the last one and blogger was being dumb and wouldn't let me. :p

I think turning your letters/thoughts into book form is an amazing idea and I'm SO glad you're doing it!! SO glad!! I can't wait to be able to buy my own copy.

<3

Jessica said...

AWESOME! :)

Holly said...

This is great that you are doing it! And go ahead and toot your own horn!!! ;)

Renee said...

I stumbled across your blog tonight and I can't stop reading it. All I was thinking was "this would be such a great book" So when I read this entry I was so happy!! You have such a special gift. Through you joy, sorrow and grief your writing filled my heart. I pray for so many blessing for your family

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