I hope no one minds if I go off on something totally unrelated to babyloss for just a moment. It's really bugging me and I just need to get it off my chest. Cool?
Okay, so last night, Andy and I went to see 'Fast Five,' the new 'Fast and the Furious' movie at the discount theater. Now before you judge me and decide never to read my blog again because someone who watches that crap must not be taken seriously, it was actually a really fun movie. I've never even seen movies two, three, and four of the series, but like I told Andy as we were walking out of the theater, "it had so many things that I hate--Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, cars--but I loved it!"
Anyway, I enjoyed pretty much everything about this movie--the over the top ridiculousness, the silly dialogue, the sick stunts and car chases--but there were two things that really bothered me. Well, two people. The two 'hot girls' in the movie were both so skinny. Like disturbingly, distractingly so. All I could do was stare at the bones popping out of their chests whenever they were on screen. There was this one scene where Hot Girl #1 strips down to her bikini to pry some information from one of the bad guys in the film (you know, by using her Hot Girl body), and I literally cringed. I mean, really. Is this what people find attractive nowadays??
This girl literally had the body of a 12 year old boy. No butt. No hips. No boobs. Legs about as big as my arms.
And ever since then, I can't stop thinking about how all the 'hot girls' in movies or on TV right now have this exact body type. It's like the skinnier you are, the more beautiful you are. And I know it's sort of always been this way, but it seems like it's getting worse and worse.
Like remember when Angelina Jolie played Lara Croft: Tomb Raider 10 years ago? Here's a reminder if you don't:
She was smokin' hot. The ideal. And why? Because she looked like a woman! Sure, still skinny, but curvy.
Now look at her:
And it's not that I don't think really, really skinny women can't be attractive, but that is not the only body type that should be considered beautiful by society's standards. I am racking my brain, trying to think of a 'hot girl' actress who's even over a (still skinny!) size eight these days, and I can't. By only having size zero women in the 'hot girl' roles, we all get the message that anything else is just not good enough. And that's so wrong.
Personally, I've never really struggled with my weight. Never been over a size six. I had great parents who instilled in me the fact that looks aren't everything, and that true beauty comes from within. I consider myself a pretty confident, rational person. I have a husband who tells me I'm sexy on a daily basis.
Yet I still secretly feel fat. A lot. Often.
Logically, yes, I know I'm not. I know that. But when you're constantly exposed to these ideals, you can't help but compare and feel awful when you don't measure up. I see these super skinny stick figures on the screen and think, 'oh that is so not attractive.' And I really believe that. But then I'm constantly fussing over every imperfection of my own body, wishing I could just be skinnier. Why?
If someone like me has these body image concerns/issues, that is a real problem. Huge.
Who decided that super skinny = beautiful? Why do we continue to believe these lies? Am I the only one who gets really, really angry about this issue?
I really hope no one out there is mad at me for bringing this up. Sometimes I feel like because I don't struggle with my weight, I'm not allowed to talk about things like this. But no one, whether they're a size two, or four, or six, or eight, or 0 or 12 or 14 or 16 or 28, should be made to feel like they have to be a certain size in order to be beautiful.
It makes me scared for all the little girls in the world.
Anyone care to share their thoughts on this?
-Kristin
Friday, June 24, 2011
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9 comments:
Kristin, I've read your blog for awhile but this is my first time writing. Hi! I totally agree with you! I just too a Communications across differences class and we had a whole section on this. I super highly recommend a documentary called Killing us Softly. There are 4 version each one just more current (I've only seen #4) The documentary focuses on how women are used in advertising. It's fascinating and made my blood boil! Another interesting one (It can be found in parts on Youtube)is called Dream Worlds. It's also a documentary and focuses on how women are used in music videos. Also very very interesting. Anyways, I totally agree with you and seeing women so skinny just makes me sad. I always wonder how we got here since there are so many different cultures who view fat as beauty! I want to move to those places! I love that you brought this up and I really encourage you to check out those documentaries! I would love to hear what you thought about them!
I've noticed that it's getting worse too. It makes me sad.
I've always been pretty slim, but I'm a little...top heavy. It feels like most clothes are targeted toward those super skinny girls with no boobs, so I have a hard time finding "pretty" things that I like that fit right. Or I end up feeling like I look weird because I'm curvy and the people around me aren't.
My biggest issue with this is what it says to our little girls too. That, along with those dance companies that make them start wearing "sexy" costumes and make-up at age 5 or 6. I have a 9 YO daughter ... I constantly worry about helping her be "healthy" and not stressing on the looks ... yet society counteracts that all of the time.
you are definitely not the only one who is angered by this. i, of course, have been "plus-size" my entire adult life, and i feel like society's (or is it just hollywood's?) image of beauty is always in my face. i definitely worry, too, about what message this sends to little girls - like the whole abercrombie bustier for pre-pubescent girls issue. and the clothes our female students wear (in a K-8 school!) on dressdown days when they don't have to wear uniforms. what are they thinking!? (and what are their parents thinking for sending them to school in those clothes, for buying them those clothes? and what are the stores thinking for selling them!?)
anyway...
oh, and kristin: you are most definitely NOT fat. you're gorgeous.
I struggle with these feelings every single day. I grew up watching my mom constantly trying to lose weight, hating the way she looked, always loudly wishing she were thinner - and I soaked all of that up like a sponge. Until recently (after 2 babies and the recent discovery of a 3rd on the way), it's always been easy for me to maintain my weight and yet I've never been happy with my size - like you, a true 6. And right now, with about 15-20 extra pounds hanging around? I can quite honestly say that I hate my physical self. It fills me with dread to think that I could pass that on to my daughter (or son, just as easily) the same way my mom passed it on to me.
I have no idea how to break the cycle. No idea how to stop hating myself, how to stop looking in the mirror and seeing Jabba the Hutt with glasses. In fact, my most recent blog post was about my self-image.
I'm really glad you ranted about this. REALLY glad. <3
I totally agree Kristin. I don't struggle with my weight either but when I look at the women in films and TV it makes me a little sick too. I think the *same* thing. Is that really attractive??? It's actually pretty gross {to me}. Thanks for bringing this up, it is a very real problem. Makes me sad for girls and teens growing up too.
I so agree! We saw that movie in the theatre and I was thinking that girl was a stick! It's ridiculous! Let's get some real women in these movies!!
This is my favorite post thus far!
I so agree. I have always been a size 8 to 10 (mostly do to being "top heavy" and having long legs). Now it seems that anything above a size 2 is "bad". I just hope this trend ends soon. I plan on teaching my little girl that no matter what size she is, she is beautiful inside and out. Thanks for the post.
~A lurker
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