August 4th: Scared

Written 8/4/11: 5.5 weeks pregnant

Dear Baby,

I just want it to be Tuesday already. Actually, I just want it to be Tuesday afternoon, after seeing your heartbeat on the ultrasound. I am so scared that it’s going to be bad news. I have no basis for this fear, really (I mean, my symptoms are getting worse and worse, and I don’t have any spotting or anything else to ‘worry’ about), but I know from reading blogs and hundreds of stories on Faces of Loss that being a babyloss mom does not make me immune from things like missed miscarriages, blighted ovums, and molar pregnancies.

I just want everything to be okay. I need everything to be okay.

I love you already, Baby.

Love,

Mom