Sunday, July 25, 2010

(Almost) perfect summer day

Dear Stevie,
Yesterday was one of those perfect, beautiful summer Saturdays. The sun was shining, the clouds were white and puffy, the sky, the brightest shade of blue. Not too hot and humid, just right for shorts and a tank top. Kids were running through sprinklers and slip and slides up and down the block, neighbors were grilling hot dogs and cheeseburgers for lunch, you could hear the familiar sounds of lawn mowers and weed wackers off in the distance. It was just one of those days where you could literally feel summer in the air.

It put me in a good mood. And it made me miss you terribly.

You were supposed to be a summer baby, just like me (my birthday is also in August). Way back in December and January, when I was freshly pregnant, and it was like negative 40 degrees outside, and there was snow that came up to my knees in our backyard, I would imagine how magical this summer was going to be. I'd spend the first couple months having outdoor baby showers and wearing sundresses and flip flops, and spend the last month of summer outside on the deck, getting to know you, my new baby girl.

We all know my summer didn't exactly turn out as planned.

Yesterday, we spent the afternoon hanging out in Grandma and Grandpa's big backyard. I wanted nothing more than to be playing with you out there, but I had to settle on playing with the dogs instead:

Yesterday was the perfect summer day, only it wasn't. Because you weren't there.

I miss you so much and love you even more.



Danae said...

I was thinking the same thing yesterday...but instead of enjoying the nice (rather hot here) weather, I stayed in the house and moped. I probably should have gotten out in the sun...probably would have done some good!

I love your pictures! Your dog is absolutely adorable!!

rebecca said...

So sorry that your summer did not end up as it should have. I've been finding that all the what could have beens are so hard to come to grips with, especially as you said when you think of how wonderful life would have been with our children here with us. Glad you were able to make the most of the day though with your adorable dogs, they are so freaking cute!

Ashlee G. said...

Incredible pictures!

Andrea said...

You are just tooo darn cute! And so are the puppies :)

Keep pushing on sweet friend...this road is long and full of potholes, but I FAITH there is a rainbow somewhere in the future. Just keep loving Stevie and mothering her right here and we are going to keep lending you support and walking with you.

Have a good week honey.

Much Love,

Sarah S said...

beautiful photos, you are very talented!

I hope you are able to look around and see the signs that little Stevie is showing you to tell you she will always be with you!

Hope's Mama said...

Beautiful pictures. I am so sorry Stevie wont be your summer baby. August is going to be a hard month for us both.
Sending much love.

Emily said...

I always loved summer too, it's my favourite time of year. I'm born in October so I never got pool parties or shorts weather for my birthday. I was so glad my child would get that. I was looking forward to having a summer baby. Thinking of you and Stevie as we get closer to our due date of August 15th.

Violet1122 said...

I love those pictures - I swear, you have the cutest dogs on the planet!

I'm sorry your summer is not what you had planned. I know August will be hard month for you. Hold on to the happy moments, if you can. I've got you in my prayers.

croleyc69 said...

Beautiful pictures and I will be saying extra prayers for you in August and always keeping you close to my heart.


Maggie said...

I hate that this summer isn't what you imagined it to be. Thinking of you & Stevie. I adore your fur babies! :)

Leah said...

The weather has been gorgeous when the humidity relinquishes control. I'm so sorry that you have not been dodging the muggy the days or being forced to wear dresses for your sanity. Your love for Stevie is so beautiful. I'm so sorry this summer has gone awry. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Andrea said...

I too was looking forward to being pregnant this summer and so excited not be huge, just cute, since Oliver was due in October. That has changed, but the summer days are still here. Thinking of you.

justine said...

Two years ago I was supposed to have summer baby. That summer was so hard, especially since I was watching other babies experience the magic of summer for the first time. I'm thinking of you.

Jenn said...

Over from the ICLW. I just wanted to tell you that your blog is one of the nicest things I have ever read. I am over here in tears. The love you have for your daughter is amazing. Her spirit lives on in these letters.

Terry Elisabeth said...

I'm sorry about your loss. It was a wonderful letter.
Your pictures are so beautiful ! That dog is just too cute.

Nicole said...

I know exactly what you mean about the summer. Avery was supposed to be a summer baby too. June. It was the coldest winter we've had in Florida this past year and I, too, fantasized about the warm summer days, and how Avery would be coming to make it even better. *sigh* Love to you, Kristin. So glad I have somewhere out there who always knows how I feel! :)

Glass Case of Emotion said...

Visiting from ICLW.. what a beautiful post. And beautiful photos and pups too..

Anonymous said...

You're so adorable Kristin!! <3

Dannii said...

i love seeing these happy photos of you, andy and the dogs. I just want to be there with you having fun in the sun!

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