Sunday, June 6, 2010

Project 365

Dear Stevie,
Before you died, I was a picture-aholic. I took pictures of everything, all the time. I lived a happy, carefree life, and I loved documenting it.

The last four weeks, I've all but stopped. Why in the world would I want to document and remember all this sadness, all this pain?

But it hit me today as I was looking through the millions of pictures I have from my pregnancy with you--just as I'm happy I'm able to look back and remember those 6 months with you, I want to be able to look back on this time in my life as well. As much as I hate it right now, this is my life. I wish things were different, but they're not.

I am going through something so profound. Something sad and heartbreaking. Something incredibly life-changing. I suddenly have this urge to document it all--the sorrow, the pain, and hopefully, also the joy, the happiness, and the healing that I will encounter in the coming days.

So beginning today, I am going to take and post one picture, everyday, for the next 365 days. By June 6th, 2011, I will have 365 pictures that represent 365 day's worth of feelings and experiences.

Today's picture:

"Clothes she'll never wear"

I will be posting these daily photos in the "Project 365" page at the top of my blog. I'm excited to do this, as it gives me a little something to do and focus on rather than watching crappy TV and feeling sorry for myself. :)

You have no idea how much I wish I was starting day one of taking 365 pictures of you, Stevie (which I had totally planned on doing). I love and miss you so very much.

Love,
Mom

PS. Fellow bloggers (especially fellow baby lost mamas): I'd love it if some of you joined me in doing this!

8 comments:

Danae said...

Kristin - This is an awesome idea! I'll do it with you!!

Amanda said...

I think it's a fantastic idea Kristin. Everything I want to say as to why would just end up sounding harsh and uncaring, but I can't wait to see this.

Antoinette said...

I have those same clothes just waiting to be worn =*( my heart is with you as you do this journey...i have become a "picture holic" myself, i take pics of my dogs like 30x a day, of butterflies, her grave, the sky...what ever I think reminds me of her or "this" i take..but I am in NO WAY as talented as you...i take them to remember everything...i regret not having taken more pics of her that day so i dont want to regret that ever again...

The Griegers said...

What a wonderful idea! I think I will start this as well. Even though it hurts and looking back on it a year from now or a decade from now will still be sad, I want to remember this time.

Lucid Anne said...

I am going to do my best to try and do this too... starting.... tonight hopefully! If I can gather up the energy. <3

Maggie said...

Oh wow! What a great idea! :) I'll do it with you too! But it might be sporadic days here and there... only for the mere fact that Alexandra's mommy is very lazy.

Michelle said...

Hi, I just stopped by via blog Raindrops. I am so sorry for your loss. My baby girl died at 25 weeks. I love the photo idea too. I used to take a lot more pics as well. You have inspired me to get back at it. I probably won't post everyday but I'll follow yours and post as many as I can on my blog.

carlajoe said...

I just happened across your blog today... and love project 365! What beautiful ideas you have. I will be starting your project 365!

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