Project 365

Dear Stevie,
Before you died, I was a picture-aholic. I took pictures of everything, all the time. I lived a happy, carefree life, and I loved documenting it.

The last four weeks, I've all but stopped. Why in the world would I want to document and remember all this sadness, all this pain?

But it hit me today as I was looking through the millions of pictures I have from my pregnancy with you--just as I'm happy I'm able to look back and remember those 6 months with you, I want to be able to look back on this time in my life as well. As much as I hate it right now, this is my life. I wish things were different, but they're not.

I am going through something so profound. Something sad and heartbreaking. Something incredibly life-changing. I suddenly have this urge to document it all--the sorrow, the pain, and hopefully, also the joy, the happiness, and the healing that I will encounter in the coming days.

So beginning today, I am going to take and post one picture, everyday, for the next 365 days. By June 6th, 2011, I will have 365 pictures that represent 365 day's worth of feelings and experiences.

Today's picture:

"Clothes she'll never wear"

I will be posting these daily photos in the "Project 365" page at the top of my blog. I'm excited to do this, as it gives me a little something to do and focus on rather than watching crappy TV and feeling sorry for myself. :)

You have no idea how much I wish I was starting day one of taking 365 pictures of you, Stevie (which I had totally planned on doing). I love and miss you so very much.

Love,
Mom

PS. Fellow bloggers (especially fellow baby lost mamas): I'd love it if some of you joined me in doing this!